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Having the Courage to be Disliked

A while ago one of my yoga instructors reccomended "The Courage to be Disliked" by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga, and I am honestly so grateful that they did. This book was such an eye opening experience for me, and I would highly reccomend it.


One thing that I took from the book is that we have the power to control our emotions. We have the choice to choose how we feel in certain situations. How we feel in situations can have a big impact on our mental health. Whether we feel happy or down, it can make a big difference in the state of our mental health.


This book has opened my mind to a new way of looking at life and how I deal with events that happen in my life. Giving me the courage to take a step back and reasses. Take a step back and realise that the situation isn't as bad as I first thought. Although it may seem tough, or bad or like it's impossible to be happy from it, there is always something positive to take from any situation and that we can learn so much from it all.


So my advice? I firstly would reccomend you read this book. It would honestly open your eyes to a lot of things you never thought about and change the way you think about life.


Secondly, start to think about how you feel in the moment. Think to yourself, is this how I'm actually feeling? Or is this an immediate reaction to what is going on in the moment? Take a step back and think about how you are feeling. Can you change how you're feeling? Is it having an impact on your day?


More times than not, how you are feeling when you wake up can have an impact on the rest of your day. I am very guilty at times for allowing this morning mood to have an impact on my day, but after reading this book I approach the day differently. Instead of staying in that mood for the whole day, I take a moment to process what's going on in my mind and then put it to one side. Whether that means spending five minutes meditating or doing an intense workout to work off the stress. We all have our own ways of dealing with these emotions and that's what makes us unique. There is no one way that works for everyone.


My final piece of advice, is to be open about how we are feeling. Don't let things bottle up and talk about it. We live in a society where it can seem taboo to talk about our emotions and how we feel, and that shouldn't be the case. We should be able to openly talk about how we feel and not be ashamed to ask for help.


To finish, I leave you with a quote from the psychologist Alfred Adler, which is used within the book.


"Someone has to start. Other people might not be cooperative, but that is not connected to you. My advice is this: You should start. With no regard to whether others are cooperative or not"

Be the change you wish to see in your life and don't let others change how you truly feel.

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